Changing names – what’s the deal?

Screen Shot 2015-08-05 at 9.06.17 pmI’m not keeping my surname. That is in some female circles a surprising statement apparently, or so I have discovered in the past year. And more recently I have heard from a chap: “My girlfriend’s a bit of a feminist, so she’d want to keep her name.” To clarify: I am still a feminist – I believe in gender equality and choosing to change my name hasn’t changed that. Learn some sense people.

Not to rant but…

Feminist: Someone who supports feminism.

Feminism: the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

You can totes be pro equality of the sexes and choose to be a Mrs. It is freaking 2015.

Now where was I? The time has come: we’re back from honeymoon, and have no immediate travel plans. But I am now posed with a new set of troubles: what needs changing and how on earth do I go about it!? (and what is it going to cost me…)

Here’s my list and I hope to get back to you with answers shortly and chat about how amazingly easy it all was…

  • Driving License
  • Passport
  • Bank accounts
  • Mortgage
  • Doctors and Dentist
  • Tax office – bet that one is fun!
  • Blood donation
  • All insurance – house, life, car, personal
  • Phone contracts
  • Email addresses.

It’s definitely safe to say: changing it on social media is the fun easy one and the items above are probably going to make my head ache.

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The “What NOT to do” of Hair Care

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14 years young.

One quick look through my profile photos on Facebook and it’s clear that I am an indecisive creature (yes, they are all me). I have spent my life to date torturing my hair with a variety of colours. Do I want to be Blonde or Brunette? Do I want to home-dye or pay for salon prices?

My hair is now in a state where, in the run up to one of the most photographed days of my whole life I wish I had treated it better and there is little I can do to miracle it better now.

So my list of things not to do:

 

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15 years old. Red.

Use HomeDye for going any shade – yes, when you go a darker shade it does start glossy but even the dark shades have damaging chemicals in them.

 

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16 going on 17. Dark Brown.

Change your colour or cut on a whim – I have so often seen someone with light hair when mine has been dark and wanted a change or seen someone rocking a blunt cut fringe and thought “That could be me” – No, it couldn’t. I have naturally wavy hair that with the slightest damp or humidity that fringe goes crazy and I begin the task of growing it out – again!

 

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19 years old. Blonde! My sister helping me with a home highlight cap.

Use a hairdresser because they are cheap – like unless you are on a seriously tight budget, or not fussed what your head looks like it’s worth investing in the thing you wear out every day of your life.

 

 

 

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21 years old. Brown. Box dye fades.

Think that your natural hair colour could be better – let me tell you: It’s that colour for a reason, the shade is going to suit your natural colouring.

 

 

 

25 years old. Blonde - professional but dry!
25 years old. Blonde – professional but dry!

Not being bothered about Heat Protection. Heat damage is real everyone. I have the damaged, split ends to prove it.

What I wish I’d done from the start (before Sun-In aged 12!):

 

 

26 years old. More blonde!
26 years old. More blonde!

Loved my natural colour. It’s mousy but it’s mine. And Free! I calculated how much I spent on having my hair coloured over the years and it was four digits.

 

 

 

26 years old. Brunette and long. Tried to get it dyed to match natural roots: failed!
26 years old. Brunette and long. Tried to get it dyed to match natural roots: failed!

Got hair cuts to maintain hair hair rather than change style – I’ve flitted around with growing it long, cutting it short, getting layers and then growing them out that I’ve never had one thing long enough to know if I like it!

 

These days I trust my locks with the lovely team at Simon Webster Hair. I have given them a bit of a nightmare task, but each time I leave it looks much, much improved!

I’m now rocking a mixture of all of the colours you can imagine, mixed in with the odd grey hair (I’m too young). I’ve resolved to not dye my hair again after our wedding in July to see how it looks before the greys take over I am never know how my mousey brown coulda/woulda/shoulda looked.

 

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Gym Gym Gym

Screen Shot 2015-04-10 at 12.13.48 pmCan you tell what this post might be about? I’m so subtle with my titles : )

Gym is a place I never imagined I would be so often. I have a bit of a tumultuous relationship with it if I’m being frank, which apparently is my constant state. Sorry all! I love the feeling after a really energetic session, where I have miraculously found motivation from a Spotify playlist at 6:45am. But I’d be lying if I didn’t also admit to sometimes going for 20 mins and leaving again. Those days happen too.

What gets me through is :

  • Having had a good nights sleep the night before.
  • Having my gym kit ready to throw on in the morning.
  • A coffee for my walk to the gym with Rosie (checkout her blog) in my trusty Keep Cup (I had one of these critters sent from Australia for J before they were stocked in the UK: shoulda waited!)
  • An awesome playlist – Rosie shared her personal gym one with me and that is always my fall back at the moment.
  • Having an idea of what I want to do. I have a Pinterest board of working out things, so I try to take a snoop at that to get me motivated before leaving home in the morning.
  • Occasionally treating myself to new gym kit.

What works for you?

 

Getting Hitched

If you didn’t know: We’re getting married this summer.

J and I will have been together six and a half years by the time I become his Mrs and he my Mr, but there are a lot of things I hadn’t thought about when it came to planning our wedding. (In spite of knowing about 5 and a half years ago that he was definitely the guy I wanted to annoy forever!)

Like:
  • Do we want confetti?Confetti
  • What do we want to hang as decorations in the marquee?marquee-decs
  • What is an appropriate gift for your parents to say thank you for “Everything”?
  • What Hymns do we want to sing?
  • Where do we need to get our banns read for our church wedding to be legal?
  • Do we need a license to have an event at my parents home?
  • What colour knickers should a bride wear?
  • Should I test waterproof makeup out in advance for effectiveness?

Engagement has been a wonderful, excessively happy time. But I have found myself at times overwhelmed with questions and the number of possible answers.

If I were giving advice to newly engaged couple it would be:
  • Don’t overcomplicate things.
  • Remind yourselves it just one day, and it’ll be lovely whatever you do: you’re marrying the person you love.
  • The path of least resistance might be worth taking. This one I have struggled with, and there have definitely been avoidable arguements as a result. Will it really matter if we ended up with bunting, or not having Pimms on the day…

Just remember to enjoy your engagement with each other!

 

Losing weight: What’s worked for me

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So it’s no secret that I was heavier a few years ago, I hit eating hard at Uni and carried on long after graduation. These things happen.

But I wasn’t happy, I was two going on three dress sizes bigger than I had ever been, I felt big, my skin was suffering from over indulgence. Basically things needed to change.

What I did that worked for me:

1. Tried a class

I joined a gym class with a friend, just once a week for a few months. Zumba was awesome, I loved the sense of achievement after a class.

2. The Gym

I joined a gym with friends, and tried all the free classes going.

Not all of these were awesome: Yoga is not for me, I can’t keep a straight face. People don’t always appreciate an inappropriate giggle. I know that now.

3. MyFitnessPal

This thing is a godsend. The truth now: I lie to myself about how much and what I eat. A fact: when I use this religiously my weight loss stays on track and when I don’t it doesn’t. There are graphs, actually proof.

4. Eating

This is a hard one. I love chocolate. In all forms. But once I started using the Myfitnesspal App I could see how far over my regular calorie allowance I was going each day, nevermind if I wanted to loose weight. So I said goodbye to multiple biscuits, and daily chocolate fixes. I started having healthier choices for breakfast and lighter lunches.

I’ve found ultimately it’s all about choices and making good ones for a healthier future. But it is hard.

I do LOVE chocolate. 

 

In 2015…

New YearI’m going to:

1. Be on time for things – work, dinner, the dentist.

Being late is a habit that I hate in myself and others, it suggests that the late party values their own time over others, and really all should be equal.

2. Pack lunch 4 times a week.

The amount of money Pret, Eat, M&S and others must have made off me in 2014, I probably covered one persons salary. (granted it might have been a 16 year olds, part-time, minimum waged salary, but still)

3. Continue with the gym

Last year I aimed to go to the gym 4 times a week, I don’t know if that happened, but I certainly want to continue with that as a goal.

4. Get married

Not really a resolution at all. But it cheers me right up after looking at the first three : )

Trying to Move: first time buyers

So the hot topic at the moment is: We’re trying to buy a flat.

I’ve learnt a lot that I think would have been useful to know before we started and here it is:

1. Don’t trust Estate Agents – Seriously.

They cannot be trusted, even the nice seeming ones. We have been lied to about available parking, there was none, it was advertised with. We have been talked into signing documents we shouldn’t have signed. We have had them send our papers to the wrong solicitors. Assume the worst is my advice.

2. Get a personal recommendation for a good Solicitor.

Because they are hard to come by, but don’t expect that personal recommendation to work out well. It’s all a bit a gamble still.

3. Let everyone know when you NEED to move by

That will inform your completion date, make sure you ignore your estate agents saying “Yes, of course that is fine!” They don’t know. You will need to check with your solicitor, who will speak with the seller’s solicitor.

Keep your fingers crossed for us, we want to be in before Christmas…